I was never the scientist or the doctor. I was drawn to music, writing, dance & happiness. I loved all of these because they were simply FUN and FREEING!!
Over the years I forgot about those words ... they rarely entered my vocabulary & when they did, the feeling was fleeting. I thought that was normal & so I just accepted that life was hard & sometimes very sad and painful. It had been my normal for 30 years so what was another 30 more?
Then I started watching, listening & having conversations with friends and realized my version of normal was fucked up in big ways. When even the small things that should bring joy don’t & instead bring desperation & a broken heart, it’s time to re-evaluate life & see if it can be fixed. And man, we tried & tried but the broken had so many cracks and holes in it that it just couldn’t be put back together again. I couldn’t be put back together again, or so I thought.
Then there came that day last year that I saw this same little girl who had plans and big love for a different life, but wasn’t living any of it. I was now a 51 year old looking in the mirror who decided that in that moment that I was worthy of so much more! I wanted to be celebrated, treated with respect and so I made the decision to leave a 22 year relationship.
I prayed for ease, joy & grace during the transition & struggled with more health issues but stayed steadfast in the ease & grace. I fucking bathed in it!! The Universe listens. You just need to be clear. In that moment of clarity a year ago, I surrendered to the process & gave myself permission to embrace that fun & freeing feeling again.
It hasn’t been easy. It hasn’t been hard. It has been life changing & exhausting & thrilling & freeing & a practice in radical self care that I thought I could never do.
But I did it. And I am fucking doing it!
And so it is my time now for me to honor what a very good friend told me recently…"Your light isn't dependent on anyone else seeing it. It's there. It's you. It is all you."
That. It's time for me to learn that. Not for anyone else. For me.
That was then, this is now.
Ten months later, I am laughing again, feeling lighter and healthier and I’ve been told I have a glow about me that wasn’t there before!
And to celebrate, I decided that it was time for laughter and joy and celebration in life and in business! So all week on Instagram and Facebook, we’ll be posting lots of laughter from Woman Redefined sessions...be sure to go hang out there and let me know what makes you laugh!
Because, after all, I believe that you NEED the giggle, the laugh and silliness. We are never too old for it and I’m learning that all of those is what keeps me young and feeling free much of the time!