Vulnerability is a Superpower

Vulnerability is a Superpower

“I resolved to finally have a photo session of my own.

I decided that it was time to “walk the talk”. I was always talking about showing up and being seen but I was also the one that was hiding in plain sight.

The night before my session, I panicked. I felt super overwhelmed, anxious, scared, and vulnerable. I tried to cancel, but that was not an option.

I tried to make sense of my feelings of vulnerability so I could understand why showing up felt so yucky. Why couldn’t I just wave a magic wand and make my anxiety disappear in a puff of smoke? It bugged me, but it made me truly understand the courage and strength the women I work with possess. I see women every day who boldly step through their own fears to start their own business, to get up on stage to speak and find their voice, to have the courage to get in front of the camera like so many have done with me.

And although women have always shared their vulnerability and fears with me before they get in front of my camera, I never truly understood it until I was the one being photographed. Being the photographer on the other side of the lens is a much safer place. Yes, I was empathetic to their feelings, but I never really got it until the day I did it myself.

Vulnerability is a place I don’t like to go. It’s a dark space that requires major trust, and love, and empathy of SELF. Oddly enough, I am amazing at creating a safe space for my clients during a photo shoot. What I had to learn to do was to create the same safe space for myself.”

That excerpt was written by me almost 5 years ago.

And it was eye opening.

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'This is me at 40!'

'This is me at 40!'

When I got a call from Andie late last summer, I was so excited! I remember thinking after we got off the phone, OMG, I want MORE of THIS kind of awesome, badass woman as my client!”

She was turning 40 in December and wanted to celebrate herself as she worked towards self-acceptance and confidence. She decided that she wanted two sessions - a ‘Celebrate You!’ and a ‘Natural Light Nudes’ photo experience and so we worked to make that happen!

We didn’t get a chance to meet for another few weeks but talked several times in between and so when I did finally see her in person, it was as if I knew this woman all along. And what I knew of her long distance was in fact, more than true in real life!

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Receive in 2019

Receive in 2019

To be honest with you, my mind is a bit blank right now. I am pretty sure yours might be, too. It’s the end of the year, that time “in between” where we barely know what day it is and some of us are just catching up on sleep and dreaming of what the New Year holds and catching up on more sleep. Oh, wait, maybe that’s just me! :)

All in all though, I must admit that it has been a good holiday week. I didn’t just survive, I thrived my very first holiday by myself…

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Breakdown to Breakthrough

Breakdown to Breakthrough

A month after this dance series, I kept saying I didn’t feel well. A month later, I was having weird food episodes like body spasms and complete “back freeze up” and we finally realized it was probably from eating eggs. A month later I could barely walk after waking up with weird lines on my chest that we all joked were from aliens. I would work out crying to my trainer because I could barely lift a 1 lb weight without being exhausted for the rest of the day. My family was in town and all I wanted to do was sleep and sleep some more because I had nothing to give. My body was swollen and inflamed and in more pain than I probably even realized because…

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Do you give yourself permission to recharge?

Do you give yourself permission to recharge?

Do you look at this time of year as the time to ‘go, go, go’?! Or do you give yourself permission to slow down and recharge?

I’ve always felt like all the marketing for this time of year is all about planning big for the New Year and spending money on gifts and dinners and stuff that we really don’t hold any value on later and it was exhausting to be in that energy space.

So a few years ago, I made a conscious decision to walk away from that energy and…

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Day. Fucking. Made.

Day. Fucking. Made.

I just got back from a great week in Asheville. I’m exhilarated and excited about the women I met and the photos I took. The good news is that I kept everything alive on Facebook over the week, so here are some posts I shared. By the way, are we friends yet? If not, let’s be friends!

I’m still in travel mode so here’s a snippet of the women and the week.

Post from December 4th:

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The “Tasting Platter” I received from the Universe.

The “Tasting Platter” I received from the Universe.

That song, ‘California Dreamin’ isn’t too far from wrong.  As I sit here on a cold, blustery day in Atlanta, my mind goes back to last weekend and I smile from the memories. I have been trying to keep a bit of that trip in my back pocket this week when emotional shit has been hitting the fan and it has been a big help. And in those moments where we spiral down a bit, as you probably know, it isn’t always easy to keep the good energy intact.

So here is my beautiful “Tasting Platter” I received from the Universe as I celebrated my newly found freedom and 52nd birthday in California last week.

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The gift I received in California.

The gift I received in California.

My post today was going to be about my adventure as I find myself at this ridiculously gorgeous resort in California celebrating my 52nd birthday along with my newly found singlehood and freedom!

I was gonna talk about how important it is to celebrate yourself (because that is the theme this month!), or how the (super cute) chef made my food specifically for my protocol and then came out to chat (aka flirt) with me for what seemed ages...

But then at dinner tonight, as I was finishing up, I met Deb and Scott.

Deb just leaned over and started chatting with me. And then for the next two hours, we all chatted about so much and I walked away so fulfilled and happy and realized that this was exactly what I needed this evening.

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A Clothes On/Clothes Off Situation

A Clothes On/Clothes Off Situation

Have you ever taken a moment to be clear about your business? Look at why certain things feel good and other things suck!? Recognize your unique gifts that you offer the world? Figure out what lights YOU the f*** up?

If you haven’t, I highly encourage you to do it!! You’ll be blown away by what you discover in the process!

These past few weeks have been have been an especially full of self discovery.  I’ve felt again like I was chasing my North Star and had no idea where it was!

And unbeknownst to me, however, that North Star? Well, it’s been with me, in me, and the most integral part of me the whole time!

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