“I resolved to finally have a photo session of my own.
I decided that it was time to “walk the talk”. I was always talking about showing up and being seen but I was also the one that was hiding in plain sight.
The night before my session, I panicked. I felt super overwhelmed, anxious, scared, and vulnerable. I tried to cancel, but that was not an option.
I tried to make sense of my feelings of vulnerability so I could understand why showing up felt so yucky. Why couldn’t I just wave a magic wand and make my anxiety disappear in a puff of smoke? It bugged me, but it made me truly understand the courage and strength the women I work with possess. I see women every day who boldly step through their own fears to start their own business, to get up on stage to speak and find their voice, to have the courage to get in front of the camera like so many have done with me.
And although women have always shared their vulnerability and fears with me before they get in front of my camera, I never truly understood it until I was the one being photographed. Being the photographer on the other side of the lens is a much safer place. Yes, I was empathetic to their feelings, but I never really got it until the day I did it myself.
Vulnerability is a place I don’t like to go. It’s a dark space that requires major trust, and love, and empathy of SELF. Oddly enough, I am amazing at creating a safe space for my clients during a photo shoot. What I had to learn to do was to create the same safe space for myself.”
That excerpt was written by me almost 5 years ago.
And it was eye opening.Read More