Learning to F.L.Y.

Learning to F.L.Y.

I found a video as I was cleaning out tons of stuff and it made me smile! It was so weird seeing myself laugh and smile and be happy after so long of not! The night we shot it, I cried because I hadn’t seen myself in that space for so very long and I couldn’t believe that it was actually me!

And today, just a few months later, the two words that came to mind as I watched it again, this time with a smile on my face, were: sexy and fierce.

I won’t lie. Sexy had always felt like something or someone I had to be for another person. I think this was my wiring growing up. And then as I started owning who I was and started loving myself more fiercely, like true self compassion and finding voice without apology, this new way of being felt super sexy.

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Let's celebrate ALL the things!

Let's celebrate ALL the things!

Once a while back, I decided to give mySELF a little bouquet of flowers after a good friend told me I was "a gem of a woman".

It was what I needed in the moment and it felt so good to hear it.

And so I decided to buy the flowers and celebrate that feeling.

I rarely if ever, give myself props for being kind and generous and cheerleader to those around me.

When I saw the flowers, they said to me that it's (more than) ok to celebrate me sometimes. It's also ok when not everyone sees it or appreciates it and as long as I see it in me, that's what matters.

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That was then, this is now.

That was then, this is now.

I was never the scientist or the doctor. I was drawn to music, writing, dance & happiness. I loved all of these because they were simply FUN and FREEING!!

Over the years I forgot about those words ... they rarely entered my vocabulary & when they did, the feeling was fleeting. I thought that was normal & so I just accepted that life was hard & sometimes very sad and painful. It had been my normal for 30 years so what was another 30 more?

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