Big Magic Outside the Studio

Big Magic Outside the Studio

So much fun. So much joy. But Let’s get to the heart of it shall we? The deeper, personal side of this story … it allowed me to see from the “outside in” and there were big epiphanies.

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Empowered. Bold. Inspired.

Empowered. Bold. Inspired.

I met Darshana in 2017 as I was searching for peace and so desperately trying to get my intuition back! I know that sounds weird, but there so many parts of me that just thought I had “lost it” somwhere in the abyss that was my life at that point in time.

After my first session with her (I referred to her as a f’n wizard of magic!!) where she used deep Reiki and energy healing techniques with me, I honestly felt like I had resurfaced. I started manifesting my intentions and my body was feeling in alignment again for the first time in ages!

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Vulnerability is a Superpower

Vulnerability is a Superpower

“I resolved to finally have a photo session of my own.

I decided that it was time to “walk the talk”. I was always talking about showing up and being seen but I was also the one that was hiding in plain sight.

The night before my session, I panicked. I felt super overwhelmed, anxious, scared, and vulnerable. I tried to cancel, but that was not an option.

I tried to make sense of my feelings of vulnerability so I could understand why showing up felt so yucky. Why couldn’t I just wave a magic wand and make my anxiety disappear in a puff of smoke? It bugged me, but it made me truly understand the courage and strength the women I work with possess. I see women every day who boldly step through their own fears to start their own business, to get up on stage to speak and find their voice, to have the courage to get in front of the camera like so many have done with me.

And although women have always shared their vulnerability and fears with me before they get in front of my camera, I never truly understood it until I was the one being photographed. Being the photographer on the other side of the lens is a much safer place. Yes, I was empathetic to their feelings, but I never really got it until the day I did it myself.

Vulnerability is a place I don’t like to go. It’s a dark space that requires major trust, and love, and empathy of SELF. Oddly enough, I am amazing at creating a safe space for my clients during a photo shoot. What I had to learn to do was to create the same safe space for myself.”

That excerpt was written by me almost 5 years ago.

And it was eye opening.

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'This is me at 40!'

'This is me at 40!'

When I got a call from Andie late last summer, I was so excited! I remember thinking after we got off the phone, OMG, I want MORE of THIS kind of awesome, badass woman as my client!”

She was turning 40 in December and wanted to celebrate herself as she worked towards self-acceptance and confidence. She decided that she wanted two sessions - a ‘Celebrate You!’ and a ‘Natural Light Nudes’ photo experience and so we worked to make that happen!

We didn’t get a chance to meet for another few weeks but talked several times in between and so when I did finally see her in person, it was as if I knew this woman all along. And what I knew of her long distance was in fact, more than true in real life!

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Breakdown to Breakthrough

Breakdown to Breakthrough

A month after this dance series, I kept saying I didn’t feel well. A month later, I was having weird food episodes like body spasms and complete “back freeze up” and we finally realized it was probably from eating eggs. A month later I could barely walk after waking up with weird lines on my chest that we all joked were from aliens. I would work out crying to my trainer because I could barely lift a 1 lb weight without being exhausted for the rest of the day. My family was in town and all I wanted to do was sleep and sleep some more because I had nothing to give. My body was swollen and inflamed and in more pain than I probably even realized because…

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Do you give yourself permission to recharge?

Do you give yourself permission to recharge?

Do you look at this time of year as the time to ‘go, go, go’?! Or do you give yourself permission to slow down and recharge?

I’ve always felt like all the marketing for this time of year is all about planning big for the New Year and spending money on gifts and dinners and stuff that we really don’t hold any value on later and it was exhausting to be in that energy space.

So a few years ago, I made a conscious decision to walk away from that energy and…

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Day. Fucking. Made.

Day. Fucking. Made.

I just got back from a great week in Asheville. I’m exhilarated and excited about the women I met and the photos I took. The good news is that I kept everything alive on Facebook over the week, so here are some posts I shared. By the way, are we friends yet? If not, let’s be friends!

I’m still in travel mode so here’s a snippet of the women and the week.

Post from December 4th:

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So how does it feel to RECEIVE?

So how does it feel to RECEIVE?

That was how the conversation with my therapist started yesterday. I told him the exploits of my past week and how I had to re-map my thinking to make the best out of what otherwise would have been massive stress and anxiety years ago.

I had shared with him my story of how last week had been hell on wheels. But through it, it was also a gift to learn how to receive. It had to do with fur babies and the Universe handing down what I needed to walk away with and it is actually pretty awesome!

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I hired you because you aren't boudoir.

I hired you because you aren't boudoir.

Me: “I would love your thoughts on this...do you think I should change my name to Natural Light Boudoir?”

Client: “HELL NOOOO!!! Don’t you dare!!”

Me: “ummm….ok...why? Because you know, Boudoir SELLS! And it is taking a minute for women to get on board with Nudes and even a Celebrate You! Session...so I was just thinking…”

Client: “See the thing is Rupa, I hired you because you were NOT boudoir. I wanted to work with you because of the artwork you create in your Nudes and the joy you bring out in your women during your entrepreneur sessions. And so that is why I asked you if we could create something for me since I am not an entrepreneur, but I wanted a fun session to bring out who I am on camera!”

Me: “Oh, ok, wow. I get it. And I LOVE that!”

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Tell Your Mean Girl to STFU

Tell Your Mean Girl to STFU

Every time I meet a woman for a photo shoot, the first thing I hear from her is a list of what is “wrong” with her.

Have you noticed that “ego feed” that pops into your brain throughout the day? That mean girl voice that show up on most days and that voices things that you would never say to anyone else?

Well, I would hear that all the time. The more I heard these unkind words of self-loathing, the more I would remember feeling that way about myself. It was like looking into a mirror, and it just made me sad.

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