Are you ready to get that “girl” back – the one who used to have fun; the one who easily shared her warm smile along with the ‘zero f**** given’ attitude!?
And, don’t misunderstand me, this isn’t about going back in time wishing for what was or what could have been.
It’s actually the opposite. It is all about looking to the future and the amazing possibilities that exist and the growth of the deeper part of our lives.
Wouldn’t it be fun to to learn how to play again? Like the feeling of being on a swing and touching our feet to the clouds and laughing with each back and forth.
And now the fun could be when we look up and feel confident with a smile and maybe even a flirtatious head tilt and laugh that goes along with it.
I mean, why not?
Flirting can actually be quite empowering and fun.
And let’s not confuse flirting with any type of harassment. I am sure every woman who reads this knows the difference and understands what I am talking about.
Flirting is what I call “old school online dating”. Before the online dating days, you actually looked up (because there were no cell phones) and took a minute to engage if it felt right. And if it did, the flirt was on.
(p.s. And flirting, btw, is SO NOT restricted to single-hood. I think it is super sexy and fun to do that with your partner of many years. It lights that fire again and makes things more intimate in all parts of both of your lives! So couples, you’re a total part of this as well so stick with me here, ok?!)
And all of this totally shows my age and thank god for that really! I want to go back to old school, because again, why not?
I believe flirting has gotten a bad rap over the years and I believe that it is time to take back this powerful, fun way of showing up in the world.
For me, ultimately flirting is about making another person feel special and desired. When that connection with someone is made, it can turn you on, as well. In fact, it can be the highlight of your own day. And I am sure it can be the highlight of the other person’s day as well!
Again, why the hell not?!
I saw this Instagram post by Kate Willett today as I was writing this Blog post and it couldn’t have come at a more perfect moment or more perfectly voiced --
And yes, what a great analogy, “It is like comparing a paint brush to a wrecking ball.”
It is totally the “paint brush” since, to me, flirting should be all about kindness, respect, laughter, genuine conversation. It’s about body language, and playfulness and sometimes even a bit of suggestiveness. And it has to be something that makes both feel good as they walk away with a smile.
I believe that as we get older and into “life” – i.e., working all day, managing kids, scheduling appointments — we lose that flirty spark. We create other priorities and the excuse becomes, “Well, life just gets in the way.”
I would love to see us turn that mindset around. The truth is, if we believe that we are deserving of that fun-natured conversation, giggle and laughter, why would we ever feel too busy to get our flirt on?!
During a very vulnerable point in my life, I had to be re-taught how to flirt. Yes. I had to be taught how to flirt. I wonder how many of you are reading this right now are nodding their heads, saying, “Yes. Me, too.”
At first, it felt so uncomfortable, but with practice (yes, I said practice!), I got better at it. You can, too.
Flirting really allows you to be emboldened in your own visibility, and how you decide to show up each day changes.
My flirting “homework” started at the age of 28, when I started working with a therapist after my marriage ended. Single with two young children, I was trying to create a new life for myself. I was most comfortable doing my day-to-day routine – going to work, taking care of the kids, and running a new household. I found myself looking down whenever I went out with friends. So the homework began.
I challenged myself to look up whenever I went shopping or was with friends. Simple. Just Look up. Oh, I also pushed myself to make eye contact AND smile at a person who walked by. Not so simple.
The results were eye opening. Men smiled back. I was actually in shock and awe. And if there was a cool connection, I could feel myself swoon just a little bit – mostly from the fact that I was gaining confidence and feeling good about myself.
Ultimately, this exercise helped me show up every day and see myself as a beautiful woman with purpose and positive qualities. It empowered me to take risk, smile more, to be seen and acknowledged by both men and women.
25 years later, I am back to learning that exercise yet again. It feels odd that I would need that at the age of 51 but I’m grateful that I can lean into what I already know. So now it’s time to look forward, no more looking down but instead, holding my head high and smiling and having fun.
So I said to myself the other day, “Girl, get your flirt ON! It’s good for you!”
I’ll keep you all apprised of my success or attempts at success in another post coming up. And most are just funny as I attempt to see this part of me again. To exercise the ‘old school online dating’ thing but not really go on any dates because that is not part of my M.O. yet. :)
For me, getting my flirt on is just for me. It’s about creating connection again. It is about feeling proud of myself for looking up and being aware. It is about creating magic within myself which creates self compassion and action towards what I really want.
So, you wanna’ do this with me? (PLEASE say YES!)
Today I want you to boldly get your flirt on.
Before you leave your house today, I want you to smile at the beautiful woman in the mirror. Look her in the eye, and acknowledge her with your smile and tell her how she shines and has totally got this! And that it is now time to get HER flirt on!
Today, I want you to look up and smile at 3 people. Acknowledge them. If you have a moment, say something kind and genuine. Shower them with your glow and positive energy. Notice how you feel when you walk away.
When you feel uber comfortable getting your flirt on, take on the challenge of acknowledging more people in one day. If you’re single, find that person that gets you going and make eye contact, smile, and say or do something that makes YOU feel sensual.
Remember, this is all about you owning your presence and shining from the inside. It’s all about you feeling empowered, sexy, and strong; don’t forget that!
So let’s do it together and get ready to shine in 2019 … ready … set … GIRL, get your flirt ON!