You know by now that I LOVE watching women show up and feel beautiful and confident in their skin! It is so much of what I do as a photographer and you would think that after all the women that I have worked with, that it would be something I do for myself as well right?
And, to be honest, it is now finally something I have gotten better at -- I mean it only took 20+ years for me to get there! :) And it is a constant practice that requires patience and diligence and habit. It is a way of living for my physical body to be well and also for my mindset to stay strong.
But for a LONG time, I wasn’t exactly walking the talk and it occurred to me every time I would meet with a client. You see, back in the day, I would lean into my story like a super comfy wall that held me up and kept me from falling. It was what felt safe and comfortable, for whatever reason.
And then, shortly after I started my business, a client challenged me to show up like a photographer. She challenged me to do for myself what I asked women to do with me in front of camera and moving forward after they left the studio.
That was 10 years ago and it took baby steps to get there. To look at myself and really deal with my food sensitivities, thyroid disease, and personal/life issues that kept me hiding all along because I was afraid to be seen and to truly show up
Think about that for a moment. As a photographer, whose job it is to make women feel confident and beautiful, I was afraid of being seen because I didn’t feel confident or beautiful myself.
Once I was able to lean into the discomfort (and, yes, this was a level TEN at the time!) and face my issues, my transformation began.
Starting on the inside, I had to change my outlook and my attitude toward life. I had to address what was going on in my marriage. I had to address my story that was holding me back and not letting me be present and instead, keeping me “safe” aka playing small.
It wasn’t easy and sometimes, it wasn’t fun, but damn, it was time for a change. My entire being knew it and so I leaned in and found the discipline to stay the course.
Being vulnerable and allowing uncomfortable feelings made me face my issues and deep rooted fears head on. Suddenly, my attitude started to change, my body started to feel better, my mind focused on more positive things and and eventually, I could feel myself shining like the bright light I knew I could be.
Transformation is a work in progress. Trust me. I know.
I suggest that if you want this transformation as badly as I did, start to look at how you want it to look and FEEL. It will open you up to life and abundance and even anger and sadness But it is once you have all those feels is when you really begin the catharsis that brings on the growth. ,
I sit here today and thank God that I made that decision and fanned that flame of desire to transform 10 years ago. It was an inside job all the way. It wasn’t easy and it wasn’t hard, it was conscious and it was revolutionary to the woman I have become today.
I opened myself up to new possibilities. A new life of my own. A new freedom. A new business. And a whole new fucking attitude about my body and my life that I am unapologetic about for the first time in my life!
If you are that woman as well, I applaud you. I hug you and I send you love. I want to know your story and of course, would love to capture it for you on camera when you are ready. You deserve it all and I know you will make it happen!
P.S. Do something special for yourself and schedule a Limited Edition Angel Wing session. No halos required! Click here to learn more.